Empathy Unbound: Reimagining Connections Beyond the Limits of Boundaries

Someone said recently

“Empathy without boundaries is self destruction.”

𝙄 𝙖𝙢 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙧 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙪𝙥.
Bear with me

𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

What your boundaried empathy says to me is:

Your inability to regulate yourself, communicate and advocate for your needs means that I need to change somehow to continue to receive your empathy?

I’m ready with a wide open heart, to go toe to toe with guides that teach this outdated and violent method of shirking our own responsibility of self regulation.

In favor of advocating for ourselves and moving with our own internal guidance, doing our own work to understand and integrate with the world rather than imposing a boundary or building a wall against the world.

Empathy with boundaries isn’t empathy at all …. it’s is non acceptance….. it’s control, its violence.

Empathy with boundaries says I hear and experience you, but only to my own limits.
Boundaries say when I’ve reached my limits then you have to stop being, or doing what ever your doing.

Think back to the last time someone imposed a boundary on how deeply they would hear you … did it feel loving, did you want to see them again?

𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐈 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐈𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲

I turn the empathy to myself instead of making you wrong and imposing a boundary.

If I must leave then I do that. But it never means you have to change. It means in order to love myself, I must do something different.

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.

When ever you think you must make a boundary, instead, ask yourself what does love see … how can you fall deeper into the moment to surrender to what this perceived boundary crosser is bringing up in you.

Take responsibility for yourself heal your wounds that fuel the boundary, and then ease and flow will follow.

Boundaries are not universal flow.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

𝐄𝐚𝐬𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.
𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬


See what love sees, 

Brandy